When I think of you, I picture you pouring both literature and tea into your head and heart…

“The most important thing that a man can do is find a woman who will love him no matter what he does,” said my grandfather. We were the kitchen, and the morphine had kicked in about an hour ago, so he was feeling very reminiscent. When he got into those moods, my mother would send me to his house, so that I could listen to his stories.

I am named after him. When I was born, my parents named me Ian Wayne Bauder, a last minute decision in honor of my grandfather: L. Wayne Bauder. After they had made the decision, my grandmother called my grandfather, who was in California in a business meeting. She told the secretary not to bother my grandfather and just wait for him to come out. The secretary ignored her advice, and interrupted the meeting. Everyone clapped for my grandfather, who just sat, and grinned, and said “well how about that!” over and over.

After he made the pronouncement, that the most important thing a man can do is find a women who will love him no matter what he does, my grandfather called my grandmother into the kitchen. He told her what he had said, and then hugged her, asking her if she would stay with him forever. She looked into his eyes, and said firmly: “yes.” He looked right at me. “How about that.” 

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