Dear Kathryn Bigelow,

I would just like to thank you for making “The Hurt Locker.” It really is a wonderful film about the horrors of war and the toll it takes on soldiers, blah, blah, blah. Anyways the story was good, the acting was mostly good and it really got the entire audience on the edge of their seats (especially the scene where they are trying to get the bomb out of the car — and when they are being killed by the sniper guy — it really did remind me of my days in the iraqi village simulation). And yet, I have a bone to pick with you.

For some reason, you seem to think giving your precious cameras to alzhiemer’s patients and people having epileptic seizures was a good idea. The novelty of a shaky camera constantly zooming at random wore off after ten minutes of “Cloverfield.” Look, all I am saying is that it’s been done (and it was never really as clever as its practitioners thought it was). I know you were trying to say something about either about how the media influences our perspective of war or how war is confusing and jumbled. But I watched “Apocalypse Now” (a much better film then yours, sorry to say) and it said all those things with out making me feel like I was on a tilt-a-whirl.

All that said, it was a good effort, and I hope a lot of people go and see your movie. Just please, please promise me you will never ever use that shaky cam again.

– Ian


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